We are now 2 days into our "mandatory" mask wearing in public enclosed spaces, such as stores, offices, etc. As I've said before, I'm one of those who can't wear a mask, and today for the first time in a long time I was literally humiliated for that fact.
I had to pick up a few things in town, went to a few stores. I actually went to a lot less places than I had planned to, because I ended up sitting in my car in the parking lot just waiting for the crying to stop so I could drive home safely.
People with asthma can't breathe easily in a mask, sometimes not at all. I have asthma, but that is not the main reason I can't wear one. As I got out of my car I was quite aware of all the people in the area wearing them, and I was and am sincerely grateful for that. I have such a crappy immune system and am allergic to so very many things, some of my friends joke that it's amazing that I'm still alive, or say "don't get attached" because I won't last long. I laugh with them because they're right, and sometimes it is just so ridiculous that all I can do is laugh. I'm also allergic to all ... yep ALL ... antibiotics, so if/when there's a Covid vaccine, I can't take it. So if Covid doesn't kill me, the vaccine will. So from the bottom of my heart I truly am grateful for all the mask wearers out there for protecting me.
But while I was so clearly aware of all of them wearing masks, they were also very aware that I was not wearing one. Some literally pointed at me as they said things loud enough for me to hear about my irresponsibility. Some just stared. As I went into one store there were 2 women working the entrance and one told me I had to wear a mask. I told her I couldn't. The other told me I HAD to and said they could provide me with one. I said again that sorry, I cannot wear one. One snorted and as I walked away they were talking quite loudly about MY rudeness and that I thought I was better than them, or above them, they said a lot more and I heard it all, as I'm sure they intended. I won't be going back to that store and I tweeted about it.
I got what I went there for, shaken and trying not to let it show, very conscious of all the stares and things other people said until I got out, then when I could, I drove home.
There are a lot of things I could have said to people, but didn't. I'm often not known for holding my tongue, but I did. I was half afraid that once I got started I wouldn't be able to stop. And I was also just trying to get through what I had to do and get out. People think they know things, they make assumptions, they judge.
I suppose asthma sufferers could wear a t-shirt that says they have asthma, so people would go "ooohhh ok, that's why she can't wear it". But I don't think they make t-shirts that say "I can't wear a mask because I have PTSD from my ex strangling and smothering me while he tried to kill me hundreds of times".
I guess I'll have to have that one custom-made.
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